Should You Let Your Baby “Cry it Out”?
I’ve always thought “no way!”. I have plenty of friends and even family who disagree with me, but I just couldn’t let my son lay alone wondering if anyone would come to help him, eventually giving up to sleep. I did try not to rush right in to his aid, but would go in after a minute or so (okay, less than an actual minute, if I’m honest), pat him, offer a shhhh, replace his paci, and then leave again. I’m lucky that this, for the most part, worked beautifully for him, and anytime he continued to cry, it was never longer than about 10 minutes. I just increased the amount of time between when I would go back in his room. He is now seven months old, sleeps 12 hours through the night, and takes 2 naps during the day, so I’ve felt pretty good about my methods…until today.
Today, all I retained from reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (fabulous book!) went out the window, and I let Chase cry for 30 excruciating minutes. He was exhausted. He had only slept 30 minutes before waking from his afternoon nap, and the few times I had gone back in to soothe him, only resulted in harder crying. Cue daggers into my heart. I gave him a bottle, realizing he was probably hungry, and hoped it would make him just drowsy enough to fall back asleep. No luck. So I got him up and let him play for a while. He was cranky, so I knew he was still tired. This time, when I put him down, he was quiet for a minute, then started crying again – not as hard as before, but crying nonetheless. Knowing it would only produce harder tears, I left him alone. I felt guilty and horrible (and even shed a couple tears of my own), but in the end I knew I did what was best for him. I also believe letting a seven month old cry is a lot less heartless than allowing a newborn to do so. He did eventually fall asleep, and he did not meet me with a hateful glare when he woke up and I went in to get him. He was all smiles. Thank goodness he’ll have no memory of all this, but it did allow me to think about the parallels of our Heavenly Father when we are sad or hurting. It’s not His will that we hurt. Our tears are not His greatest desire for us, and yet there are times when He allows the tears to flow. He never promised us a pain-free life, but He did promise to never leave us or forsake us. Just as I stood on the other side of the nursery door, longing for Chase’s comfort, peace, and eventual sleep, willing him to know that I actually AM right there even though he can’t see me; I picture Jesus doing the same thing.
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:29-30 NIV
So…to “cry it out” or not? I still say I’m in favor of the “not”, but take the time to learn and understand your baby’s cries so you can better understand what they need. And, know that they are abundantly forgiving. Cue sigh of relief!
Tracy Hogg spells out how to do this in the above mentioned “Baby Whisperer” book, which has been a tremendous help to me as my husband and I have pioneered through parenthood over the past seven months. I highly recommend it!
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Love this post! I agree completely. My little one hasn’t slept through the night yet, but he did put himself back to sleep last – and that was the only time he woke!